by Ayelet Shimron
Gazing out the window of a New York City cafe one morning, drinking my regular ‘wake-up call in a cup’, I turned my attention to all the passerby’s walking their dogs. As I expressed my interjection of “aww’s” at the multiplicity of man’s best friends, a thought suddenly struck me: why do so many people have a partner of a totally disparate nature than himself? Why is there a lack of humans holding hands, and an abundance of humans holding leashes? The only answer I could conjure up was pure loneliness. I wondered how it was possible for the busiest city in the world to be the loneliest place in the world. I realized that loneliness is not limited to New York City… loneliness is a universally human phenomenon. Just to clarify, I am not stating that all dog owners are lonely, my goal is to understand why a relationship with either man or dog has become mutually exclusive.
So why are people so lonely these days?
When it comes to love, we have this illogical conception of how love is suppose to ‘happen’. Since when did love come with an instruction manual? When we fall into love with zero expectation, there is absolutely no room for disappointment. We all like to believe that we are spontaneous creatures, but when it comes to love we enter into its mysterious domain with a structured vision of how each step “must” unfold. Doing this, we place limitations and standards on love; but love is by no means limited, nor is it defined by any standard. Love is not jealousy, or anger, or resentment. For example, why do we get angry when our partner does not fulfill a certain task? The answer is simple. Because our expectations have been established, but they haven’t been met. Understand the secret of why many people find it difficult to achieve harmony in relationships. Because the woman wants the man to understand her needs and expectations, while the man, in return, feels unaccomplished for never meeting his woman’s needs. Thus, the man loses his motivation to even try. Remember, the rose blooms so beautifully because it is not trying to be a lotus. The lotus blooms so beautifully because it is not trying to be a rose. When we learn to accept the other rather than expect from the other, only then do we learn how to embark on this journey of love.
- Ayelet Shimron lives in NJ and helps people from all walks of life to discover their inner light through creating deep, fulfilling relationships in their life. AyeletShimron.com